Not even a month ago, Polygons Petrana Radulovic called for the ad campaign of the live-action remake of Lilo & Stitch to show us any characters other than Stitch. And today, with Disneys release of the first full trailer I can confidently say: “No, no, stop, that was too many live-action characters. What have you done to Jumba and Pleakley?”
This might sound like Im being the pickiest person alive, but a good portion of why Petrana — and other fans of the animated classic on Polygons editorial staff — were so interested to see more of the new movie was to get a look at how all of its alien characters other than Stitch would be converted from the lovable, cartoony designs to a photorealistic style.
Petrana even called it out in her piece:
“Its easy to sell Stitch — hes a super-beloved character. Just make him a bit more textured, and bam! Youve got a solid “live-action” design. But what about the original movies evil scientist Jumba (David Ogden Stiers), with his big head and four blinking eyes? Or one-eyed, green, mildly rubbery Pleakley (Kevin McDonald)? Or large, lumbering, whale-like Gantu? What are they going to look like?”
And as many fine nostalgic beats that the new trailer hits — Stitch stealing the one red fighter, ice cream cones dropping on the beach, the banger melody of Alan Silvestri and Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalus “Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride” — it also has a quick reveal that Jumba and Pleakley will have hologram technology that justifies them being played on set by their new actors, Zach Galifianakis and Billy Magnussen.
And to that I say: Boring! I say: Cowards! If we can accept that Stitch can be mistaken for a dog by reasonable observers, it is not a stretch to maintain that a four-eyed giant sloth man and a living sticky-hand toy could be mistaken for people just by putting on people clothes.
Image: DisneyThe juxtaposition of Jumba and Pleakeys bizarre appearance with their ostensible goal of blending into the human population of earth is not just a superficial aspect of Lilo & Stitch, after all. The whole subtextual chew of how they are able to pass as humans simply by wearing Hawaiian shirts and bucket hats, is that theyre dressed like tourists. Because human tourists are aliens to the culture of the films main characters. Not just in their manner, or actions, but in their very physicality.
Disneys made two entire photorealistic Lion King movies without a single human character, so its not as if the precedent hasnt been set. Jumba and Pleakley didnt even have to be a completely CGI effect, either. Go ahead, change their character designs — realize Jumba and Pleakley with facial prosthetics or animatronics. But make them look weird, all the time.
I realize Im making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill here. And that Disneys “live-action” remakes habitually make more money than god regardless of their quality. And that actors like Galifianakis and Magnussen absolutely have the chops to turn up the weirdness of a character even without special effects. But if we must make a live-action Lilo & Stitch, it deserves the best version of its weird alien uncles.
标签： #cartoony